Know Your Worth

God values you more than the most precious gems.

It is His deepest desire that you know that! 

Nothing you have done or could do would ever change 

His love and adoration for you!

Sarah's First Time- Who Was I

Young people today are starved for the truth about love, affection and sex. I for one want to be a part of the solution for these kids. I made my own mistakes when I was a teenager and have tried to set a good example for my own kids. Hoping and praying they would not repeat the sins of their mother.

So many of us wish we could change our history, it is my hope that by reading some of these real life stories you will make the right decisions.

You are a one of a kind; there is not anyone like you on the planet. You have been given a treasure to steward until you find the right person to share it with. Until that day comes, guard you heart and your virtue.

Thank you Sarah for being so transparent and sharing your first experience with us. You are an incredible young woman with so much to offer the world. I am truly blessed to know you. 

From "Sarah" ... (Not her real name)

I was 14 when I lost my virginity I am almost 16 now. I wish I could go back in time and take it back, wait a lot longer than I did. My advice, wait till your completely ready, not just because your friends have done it and you haven't. Here is my story.

I was with my best friend Maria and we decided to hang out with our friend Nick, who was my on and off boyfriend for almost 2 years. He always told me he loved me and I believed it. The last few months before we did it, he was always telling me how hot I was, asking if I was ready. Every time he asked me I told him, NO I am not ready. But he kept telling me how much he loved me and this is how I could show him I loved him. He kept asking me, saying. I was beginning to feel bad, I wanted him to know I loved him; he just couldn't take my word for it. He needed to be shown how much I loved him. So I finally said yes. He took me over to the neighbors backyard (now that I look back, I'm sure he had been there several times before). He wouldn't use a condom; he said that people who love one another don't use condoms. I had seen on TV how the first time should happen, but it was nothing like that at all. It hurt so badly. It took him a while to get inside me because I was ripping, but he kept pushing. He kept telling me to relax but I just couldn't.  I was scared and it hurt so bad. I told him it was hurting me, but he wouldn't stop he just kept saying "I'm almost done". Once he finished, he got up, got dressed and left and never talked to me again.

Still to this day he has never talked to me again, every time he said he loved me it was a lie. All he wanted was in my pants. Just to use me! Girls, make sure a guy truly loves you before you have sex with him. Wait till you are completely ready. It’s not worth the pain and suffering you go through if he just uses you and leaves you there like you never mattered. For 8 months I was so depressed. So ashamed, I should have waited. But Ii didn't and I regret it more than anything. I was totally heartbroken!

Secrets

Photo by David Owens

As I read this quote the Lord revealed something to me.

Almost all evil deeds and intents are begun with the thought that they can be hidden by deceit."Dallas Willard

Secrets-

We all have them. Human nature seems wired to with-hold and tuck away the areas of our lives we deem undesirable. For many of us the best option seems to be keeping secrets out of sight and in check—and hopefully, forever forgotten. But secrets can be so harmful that they control ones everyday life. Secrets can destroy us and everyone around if we allow it. 

Secrets are horrible, hurtful, threatening, even intimidating. That is why they are hidden. Secrets are hidden in dark places, where they are not seen, heard or believed.  Some secrets may be so unscrupulous that we choose to push them so far down we hope they dissipate in the vast darkness, but secrets grow in the darkness. 

They produce guilt, regret, shame, condemnation, insecurity and mistrust. However, secrets rarely remain isolated in the dark.

The Bible warns us against secrets, and keeping things hidden in deep dark places.

Isaiah 29:15 (CEV) You are in for trouble, if you try to hide your plans from the Lord! Or if you think what you do in the dark can’t be seen.

Matthew 26-27 (AMP) So have no fear of them; for nothing is concealed that will not be revealed, or kept secret that will not become known.

God never meant for us to harbor secrets, he wanted us to have freedom from any and all bondage and oppression of the enemy. If you are dealing with a secret today, don’t allow it to take up root in your spirit. Repent, we all have made mistakes. Ask the Lord for forgiveness. Ask him to show you any deep destructive secrets in your heart. The bible promises that He will forgive us for the offences we have committed against individuals and help us to forgive offenses done to us by others.

Luke 11:4 (AMP) And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us [who has offended us or done us wrong]. And bring us not into temptation but rescue us from evil.

As a girl I discovered at a very young age that wearing a mask appeared to be a part of my survival. I discovered there was much of myself, which others would see as unacceptable. I tucked those secrets away thinking that they would never be seen again. But instead of disappearing, they started eating   away at my life through the years. 

They became a cancer that was consuming all of my hopes and dreams. Stealing my self-worth, confidence happiness and trust in everyone around me. It was a pain staking journey to release the dark secrets that had held me captive for so many years. But, I promise you that it is possible to overcome even the worst damage of the most painful secrets of your lifetime. Through the light of God’s love, you can heal and become whole again. I did.

Until I Found You

I felt lead to share a bit of my past today, sometimes we get into a "funk" where we continue to question our worthiness. I pray this blesses you as it brings me back into alignment of knowing where I was until I found Him

~Until I Found You~

There was a time when all I knew was fear, anger, hurt and REVENGE! My life was a train wreck. I had no confidence, not knowing what love truly was. Let’s just sum it up as a  life completely distorted.

~Until I found You~

What I had never known was that Your hand was upon me the entire time. During the deepest desperation; You were with me. I didn’t feel You, and I didn’t see You, I didn’t want to acknowledge You. I believed I was extremely unworthy. I had messed up so much, I could never face You. I was so disgusted at what I had become. I was afraid of your judgment, your wrath, and your condemnation. But You were not who I expected You to be.

You met me in the darkest place of my life, the pit of Hell. It was a suddenly moment. All the walls were closing in on me and suddenly I felt Your tender embrace. You had totally engulfed me in Your presence. I was overwhelmed with a sense of comfort and security. You we snatching me back from the enemy.

~I am in the Shelter of Your wings~

You held me, comforted me, and calmed all my fears. As I look into Your eyes I felt your valor, I am more aware of your love for me. Tears stream down my face as I see Your grace destroyed all of my sins. Your love pierces my heart and soul, thank you for hearing my cry. I realize now that ONLY You could have rescued me from the darkness into Your light. Thank you, that You never remind me of my mistakes because they are as far from your remembrance as the East is from the West. They have all been forgiven.

Thank You Lord, for loving me when I was so unlovable.